Dear Lokesh, I understand what you are talking about. This is a deep topic that needs a detailed answer. I'll soon write about it.
Also, it might feel that you do meditation. But the reality is you never do it. It happens.
Also, it is all mind's play or stories that say meditation did this. So please be open that life plays on its own accord. It knows best. We, with our limited mindset, can not understand what it means or why it happened esp when we are stuck. You can not bribe life to stop it. If pain is there, it is there. You can either accept it or try to escape it. (You might want to sign up for my newsletter (the link is at the end of my every article). Today, I wrote something along these lines, which I sent to those who are on my list.)
Resisting pain makes things worse. The solution is to allow it to pass through you.
The thing that wants to die is not the body. But mind. This egoic death is more painful than bodily death. The best is to process it and let it go through you. The pain is a cleansing mechanism. How to deal with it - I wrote in detail here - https://medium.com/curious/struggling-with-emotional-battles-follow-these-3-bold-steps-to-let-them-go-d0b93483ad88
